How to find the right person to get married to

Marrying the right person requires more than just self-awareness—it also requires knowing what kind of spouse you desire. Here are some actions to think about:

1. Know Yourself: Recognise your needs in a relationship as well as your ideals and aspirations. Finding compatible companions is made easier by this self-awareness. 

2. Define Your Criteria: Ascertain what attributes—such as common values, aspirations, hobbies, and lifestyle choices—you value most in a companion. 

3. Build a Strong Foundation : Put your attention into creating a wholesome, civil partnership. Mutual respect, communication, and trust are essential. 

4. Take Your Time: Don't hurry things along. Getting to know someone deeply before making a commitment is important. 

5. Be Open-Minded: Sometimes, the right person may not match your initial criteria perfectly. Be open to change and growth in yourself and in Yourself and the person you potentially want to be with 

6. Give Love a Chance: You have to want to love, don't close your heart or mind to possibilities and give yourself the chance to love and be loved.

Choosing the Right Colour for Your Aso Ebi

Choosing the right colour of Aso Ebi, a lot of things have to be put into consideration. Sometimes the parents get to choose, but why not have some input or advice on what colours they should choose. We can start with understanding the meaning some colours project, most times some of these are not absolute, but it will help to portray specific moods and atmosphere based on the Aso Ebi colour.

 

In Psychology colours can be a powerful force and conveyor, so having specific colours can project certain messages.

 

Color is a form of non verbal communication. It is not a static energy and its meaning can change from one day to the next with any individual. For example, a person may choose to wear the color red one day and this may indicate they are ready to take action, or they may be passionate about what they are going to be doing that day, or again it may mean that they are feeling angry that day, on either a conscious or subconscious level.

Red
Red is the color of life force, materialism, passion and love.
This color energises you and it can also put you in a romantic mood, depending on the shade of the color and the environment.
Red is also associated with anger, power and war. Ancient Romans used to dress their gods in this color.
It’s better to avoid this color in your bedroom since it can cause sleeping problems because this color is very energising. So red walls are too overwhelming for the bedroom, however you can use red decorations such as cushions or candles.
People who wear red color clothes usually enjoy attention and like to stand out.
Orange
Orange is associated with sun, happiness, creativity, success and energy. Orange positively affects your mood and is very suitable for home decoration because it gives warmth to the living space. However, if you are an emotional person, it’s better to avoid this color because it provokes deeper emotions.
People who often wear orange color or live at home that is decorated with orange usually have a better appetite than others. Therefore if you are on a diet or you cannot control yourself when it comes to eating certain food, it’s better to avoid this color. It’s also advisable to avoid this color in bedroom since it encourages eating at night.
This color is also considered the color of courage. It improves your analytical skills and encourages interaction with others. Some companies use this color in their offices to make people more social and to develop their intelligence.
Yellow
Yellow is associated with happiness and success. It represents freedom and intelligence as well as practicality. It strengthens your immune system and positively affects your nerve system as well as your whole body.
This color, however, is the symbol of lies and jealousy. If used too much, it may cause you to feel irritated.
Pink
 Pink is the symbol of self respect and sexual nature. It is also associated with aristocracy, luxury and spirituality. Pink interior is likely to enhance your imagination and creativity. Pink color calms down aggressiveness.
Brown
This is the color of earth. People who are down-to-earth like it. It is associated with the earthly things such as survival and day-to-day tasks. It also arises materialistic thoughts. It’s the symbol of conservatism and stagnation.
Neutral Colors
Gray
Gray is a neutral color which serves as a basis for other colors. It is the color of harmony and it represents satisfaction as well as lack of opinion. People who have no real preferences and easily adopt like this color.
White
White color has the tendency to relax. It is also the color of innocence, purity and spirituality. If used too much, this color may make people less passionate.
Black
Black color represents the unknown, secrecy. Is is associated with elegance, luxury, dark forces and death. Young people who are rebels usually wear this color. It’s advisable to avoid this color if you have the tendency to get depressed.
Cool Colors
Green
Green color is neither warm nor cool color. It symbolises youth, spring, growth, calmness and persistence. It is also associated with money, healing and harmony. This color helps people to relax or calm down. It’s very productive to work in a room decorated with green color. It’s also good for your eyes. This color helps you to better take in and analyze new information.
This color also represents lack of experience, jealousy and envy. Because this color is both warm and cool, it denotes stability, harmony and balance. In the past Ancient Greeks used to color the floors of their sacral places in green.
Blue
Blue is the symbol of many things including but not limited to sky, sea, religiousness, faith, stability, trust, faithfulness, freedom, safety and spiritual energy. In the past blue color was used for protection against negative spirits as it was thought that this color repels them. The Pharaohs of Ancient Egypt used to wear this color because they thought that this color protects from evil spirits. Nowadays this color is mainly used in interior décor for relaxation.
It’s good to decorate the bedroom with blue since it helps you to sleep better and it calms down the hunger.
Blue is also the color of intuition. People who open their third eye usually see indigo color.
Blue is the color of confidence therefore many uniforms of police officers throughout the world are blue. This color is often seen in large companies and is also associated with intelligence, stability, formality and conservatism.
Purple
(Purple can be both warm and cool color)
Purple color was always associated with the spiritual world and if the person has purple aura color it means that he/she has either spiritual thoughts or is connected to the spiritual world in some way. This color affects your nerve system positively and is a perfect color for healing.

 

Advice That will Help Your Marriage Thrive

After the wedding day is the marriage that should last for the rest of the couple’s lives, but most times problems are encountered and sometimes they aren’t fixed. Preparing, knowing what to expect, showing love and understanding and a few of the things needed in keeping a good marriage. Below are things you should take to heart to have a fulfilling and lasting marriage.

Love and commitment are decisions, not feelings. Yes, we also feel love for each other, but not always intensely. Sometimes it’s more of a quiet comfort in knowing the other is there for us – and will be, till death do us part.

Stay intellectually connected. If one person advances in career or education, it can leave the other out of the loop. Companions who share more of our passions start to usurp the energy previously directed toward one’s spouse. It’s more stimulating to talk with someone who “gets it.”

Sex is a bonder. Frequency of sex may diminish but quality should not.

Empty nesting can be a crisis or an opportunity. When the last child leaves home, it creates a gap in many couples’ lives. Time and worry that used to be directed toward kids leaves a hole as couples realize that they had a partner in child rearing but not in life. Some intentionally renegotiate roles and discretionary time. For others, it’s a welcome freedom to embark on new adventures without worrying whether the teens will have a wild party in their absence. Sure, invest heavily in your children, but don’t over-invest to the point of losing your identities.

Link but don’t tether. Pursuit of new activities together can reinvigorate but so can independent pursuits that we bring back to share. Jim helps me dig up the garden. I go on bike rides with him – some of the time. We dance, work, pray, and play – often together, but not always.

Focus on mutual challenges. We both still have “almost full time” jobs supplemented by too many volunteer involvements that cost us money rather than bringing it in. This forces us to live simply. It’s a shared challenge.

Growing old means a changing physical appearance, but it doesn’t have to mean being out of shape. Even for those of us who hate going to a gym, staying fit can mean climbing stairs or walking to the corner store rather than defaulting to the car. Often with age also comes the income and time to eat out more or indulge in comfort foods, leading to weight gain. Eating well – but not everything we could – and doing things for ourselves can save money, pounds, and disenchantment. We both have wrinkles. Some of them match.

Try to please the other. My husband suggested I write this article. I didn’t want to do it. I’m certainly not a wimp who does anything he asks. I decided to do it out of love and knowing that gestures of kindness build relationship capital. He knows my favorite candy and periodically hides a chocolate Easter egg in interesting places around the house. It’s like many mini-Easters.

Faith isn’t magic, but it helps. Having a reason for living beyond one’s personal pleasure helps us deal with those mysteries of life that don’t always make sense. Having a faith community that supports marriage can balance our “It’s all about me,” throw-away culture.

Enjoy each other. It takes time.

 

12 Ways to Keep Your Love Alive

1. Praise is such a great gift, and it's so easy to give. So look at the things that make your spouse and others unique and develop the habit of praising them for those special things.

2. Every painful trial is like an oyster, and there is a precious pearl—a personal benefit—in every one; every single one.

3. Don't go it alone. Welcome fresh insights of other perspectives—from extended family, friends, good marriage books, or a qualified marriage counselor.

4. In a mutually satisfying relationship, both people's needs are expressed, and they have the flexibility to give and take.

5. Honor goes hand in glove with love, a verb whose very definition is doing worthwhile things for someone who is valuable to us.

6. All our trials, great and small, can bring more of the two best things in life: love for life and love for others.

7. Oneness does not mean that one mate dominates the other or that the stronger controls the weaker.

8. Anger is our choice. We can choose to see its powerful potential for destruction and take steps to reduce it within us. Otherwise, it's and iceberg sinking our love.

9. Better understanding of the motivations and actions that grow out of our basic personalities can help us achieve personal and marital satisfaction.

10. Sharing deep feelings with each other is emotional intercourse, and it's vital to sexual satisfaction.

11. As we reach out to another, our own needs for fulfillment and love are met.

12. Give seven or more praises for every one fault-finding suggestion.

10 Ways to Find True Love

The First Secret: Have a mind that is open to everything and attached to nothing. 
It’s easy to become disillusioned and closed minded each time a relationship doesn’t work out, when you feel like you’ve been dating forever and how you’re conditioned to believe what love is (based on your experience of love when you were a child). When you’re closed-minded to your partner, you are more attached to your position instead of having a closer connection with your partner.
Resist being closed off and thinking negative thoughts. Keep an open mind and focus on the positives and possibilities without being attached to expectations, preconceived notions of how your partner should be. Get crystal clear on what you want and how you want to feel in a relationship. Then take the behaviors and actions to have what you want without controlling or being attached to the outcome. When you are crystal clear and behave and act accordingly, the outcome that you’re supposed to have will fall into place the way it’s supposed to.
The Second Secret: Don’t die with your music still in you.
If you tend to settle for less than you deserve in a relationship, you’ll leave this earth with regret and sorrow. Your desire for a loving and fulfilling relationship will not be met. In order to experience your ideal relationship, settle for more. Instead of staying in a ho-hum relationship, letting someone choose you or getting off track with the wrong men, create the love life you desire. You are more powerful than you think you are.
The Third Secret: You can’t give away what you don’t have.
If you don’t love yourself, you can’t love someone else. When you don’t love yourself, you’ll be judgmental and critical about the qualities that you wish you didn’t have. You’ll then reflect this outward onto your partner and become judgmental and critical towards him. Don’t expect him to be loving towards you if you’re not loving yourself and him. Work on loving yourself first, including your self-perceived bad sides.
If you aren’t able to openly express yourself, yet want a man who shares his feelings with you, you’ll attract men who have a difficult time communicating. Your opportunity is to improve your communication skills so that you’ll attract someone who can express himself freely.
The Fourth Secret: Embrace silence.
The tendency is to over-analyze every little thing and replay the details of what he said, why he said it, what went wrong, etc., makes it impossible to embrace silence. Instead your logic-based mind taking over and asking your friends and family what you should do, just be. Relax your mind to open up the space for silence, allowing you to listen to your intuition. Practicing meditation is one way to connect with silence.
The Fifth Secret: Give up your personal history.
Holding onto negative experiences from past relationships keeps you stuck. When you hold on to the past, you’re only hurting yourself while the other person has moved/is moving on with his life. Give yourself a fresh start. Let go of what’s happened by resolving resentments, making peace with the past and working through unhealthy relationship patterns.
Identify the patterns that have continued to show up in all of your relationships. For instance, if all of the men that you’ve been with have treated you poorly, look inward. Reflect on what’s within you that’s caused you to attract these types of men. If you find that low self esteem is the reason, work on improving your self worth.
The Sixth Secret: You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it.
Your mind is very powerful. The same problems that repeat themselves in different relationships stem from limiting thoughts and beliefs. When you believe the habitual negative thoughts that run on autopilot, you can’t solve the same problems that keep coming up in different relationships. Your thoughts determine your feelings, which then determine your behaviors and actions. Negative thoughts lead to not feeling good about yourself. When you behave and take action from feeling bad about yourself, you won’t get good results.
In order to solve relationship problems, you need to adopt a different mindset by questioning the negative thought(s) and replacing them with positive ones that are as or more true. For instance, if you believe there are no good men out there, you’ll continue attracting men who are not good for you. When you question this thought and see otherwise, you’ll open up the possibility to attract a good man.

 

The Seventh Secret: There are no justified resentments.
It’s really not personal. We are all doing the best we can based on where we’re at consciously. Whatever you perceive someone doing to you is really about him and less about you. When you’re upset, angry or resentful towards your partner for how he’s behaving or what he’s doing, you’re making this mean something about you.
For instance, my husband hates having his picture taken, so much so that he will make odd faces to the camera. I value pictures a great deal; they have sentimental meaning to me. We were vacationing in Lake Tahoe and I really wanted to have a nice picture taken of us at a specific location. We weren’t able to and I was quiet for the next 45 minutes. I found myself becoming a bit upset towards him and some old habitual thoughts popped into my head, “If he really loved me, he would take pictures with me.” After I had my own pity party, I was able to see the perspective that he just doesn’t like taking pictures, which has more to do with him than it does me.
The Eighth Secret: Treat yourself as if you already are what you’d like to be.
If you’re single or dating and want to be in a loving relationship, act as if you’re already in a loving relationship. Focus your thoughts, visualize and feel as if this is already your reality. The more you see yourself in a loving relationship, the more inspired you are, which sets the momentum in your favor. The universe will then conspire to bring you what you believe to be your reality.
In your relationship with your partner, act as if what you would like to have is already here. If you want loving interactions, clearly visualize this and expect loving interactions to take place.
The Ninth Secret: Treasure your divinity.
You are perfect the way you are. There’s nothing wrong with you. Instead of trying to be a carbon copy of someone else, be your unique self. Be authentic and let men see your self-perceived quirks. The right man will find them endearing. It’s better to be loved for who you are than to be loved for who you aren’t.
In addition, we are all connected. If you feel disconnected from your partner, your ego is getting in the way of your ability to connect to yourself. Drop your ego to experience the connection to self and you’ll feel connected to everyone around you, including your partner.
The Tenth Secret: Wisdom is avoiding all thoughts that weaken you.
You grew up with a certain belief system; the way you think is based on your role models (most likely your parents) and experiences as a young child. Because you’re so used to thinking a certain way, you probably don’t question your unhealthy thoughts. The more you identify with them and believe that they’re true, the more they become who you are. These unhealthy thoughts keep you from seeing other perspectives and possibilities.
Instead of letting unhealthy thoughts debilitate you, identify the ones that have negatively affected your love life. Notice what’s happened in your relationships when you’ve believed those thoughts. Work on replacing those thoughts by doing The Work from Byron Katie.
The Ideal Approach
In a romantic relationship, love the person enough by allowing him to be exactly who he is and what he chooses to be, without expecting anything and being attached to an outcome. If you can do this, you’ll find lasting love and inner peace. True love is about loving a person for who they are, not for what you think they should be.  Which secrets will you practice in your love life?
If you’re frustrated and tired about not being successful in love, get your free Monthly Guide to Love. You’ll receive insightful articles, inspirational resources and best practices that support your journey to love.

 

Marriage Advice for newly Weds

1. If your goal is to have a satisfying marriage with longevity, make sure you are accountable for the part you play in the relationship—good or bad. When you are in denial about your part in the relationship then you are no better than a child flinging sand at another child in a sandbox. When you take responsibility for your part in the marriage, only then will you be able to connect with your partner in a mature, intimate way.

2. Research consistently shows that touching more creates a stronger bond by releasing oxytocin. Hold hands, rub shoulders, hug, kiss, give high-fives or even fist-bumps or bottom pats. When you give a quick hug or kiss, try to lengthen it to at least 5 or 10 seconds for more effective results!
3. Learn how to agree to disagree. No two people agree on everything, and that's okay, but it's important to be okay with each other's differences.
4. Sometimes it's not about the amount of money you spend on a gift, it's about the thought that goes into something. Take the time to write a thoughtful note every so often saying what you love and appreciate about him/her. Drop it in his/her briefcase or purse so he/she will find it unexpectedly and it will brighten up his/her day.
5. For men, it's important to understand that women want to be listened to. Men don't need to solve or fix everything; listening itself is an exceptional gift. For women, it's important to understand that men need time for themselves. By giving him space to pull away and not taking it personally, you allow him to reconnect with his desire for you and his commitment to the relationship.

6. The biggest waste of effort in a marriage is trying to change your spouse, since the problems you have with your spouse are generally problems you have in yourself. When you try to change your spouse you come across as a nag and wind up sending the message that 'who you are is not enough.' Nobody likes getting that message, and it leads to distance and polarization. Let your spouse be who he or she is and focus on changing yourself.

7. See problems—boredom in the bedroom, lack of conversations, resentment—as symptoms and treat those symptoms just as you would treat a chronic illness that seemingly has no cure. Throw at it every possible remedy you've got, no matter how alternative or weird it seems. Chances are one or more of them will actually work and your marriage will get stronger and stronger.
8. Next time you argue with your partner, drop the shaming, blaming, needing to be right, and really listen without interrupting. Then communicate how you feel, using "I" statements. It's not your partner's job to read your mind, guess what you're thinking, or put words into your mouth. These are huge obstacles to open, honest communication and will guarantee resentment, anger, and frustration in the relationship.
9. In order to strengthen your marriage, learn to recognize that most arguments have shared responsibility, that both people have valid points and valid reasons for their feelings.- Kathy Morelli, LPC
10. Fair is not a four letter word. You may have forgotten about fairness, but now's the time to bring it back into your relationship. Are you both being fair when it comes to divvying up chores, communicating your needs, expressing dissatisfaction, dealing with finances, parenting, and supporting one another? If not, how can you improve and bring fairness back to the relationship?

 

Make Up Tips for Your Wedding Day

 

Consider Climate Before Applying Makeup

For brides getting married in warmer climates, consider using as many oil-free products as possible — primer, moisturizer, foundation, etc. — and keeping oil-free blotting sheets on hand.

Play Up Your Makeup for Photos

"The camera will blow you out in photos. Put on a little more makeup than you would apply normally, more than you think you need, since the camera and lights will tone down your makeup."

If you're doing your own makeup: Practice and take pictures before the big day. Start with less, because it's easier to add more if you need it than having to remove excess makeup, which can get messy.

Use a Primer

"you want to make sure you cleanse and really moisturize the skin before you start applying your makeup. Then, after you moisturize and before you put on your foundation, there's a really important step — primer. It'll make your makeup go on smoother and last a lot longer. You're going to have a long day ahead of you, and you want your makeup to last you all day and all night."

Always Apply Your Foundation with a Sponge or Brush

Certain foundations work better with a sponge or brush, but definitely use either one or the other — never your fingers. The less you can touch your face, the better. (Bacteria, dirt, etc., can be left behind.) Your fingers can also leave behind fingerprints, so the look isn't as smooth and finished-looking. If you use a sponge, apply foundation by stippling the sponge, not swiping it across the skin. This gives your foundation a more natural look, and blends it more evenly into the skin.

Put on Concealer After Your Foundation

Your moisturizer, primer, and foundation are already going to even out skin and cover imperfections, so doing it before your foundation could leave you looking cakey with too much product. She also notes that it's important to use a different kind of concealer for your eyes than for your face. It should be something very creamy and emollient — not necessarily oil-free, like you'll use on your face — so it doesn't get dry and cakey throughout the day, You also want to use something peach-based so it contrasts the blue and purple tones of your eyelid.

Use Different Concealers

Your concealer choice depends on what you're covering. If it's a blemish, red spot, or broken capillaries, use an oil-free, pigmented, thicker concealer with hints of yellow, For under your eyes, you want to use something with a little more peach in it to cover and contrast the blues and purples. It should be something emollient and creamy because there are no oil glands there. Sometimes you'll see women with dry, cakey concealer under eyes; their concealer is either oil-free or they have too much on. Make sure to use a brush to apply your concealer so you can really pinpoint the spot. Press gently and melt it into skin. Start thin — you can always add more.

Primer for Eye Shadow

Using an eye shadow primer ensures smudge-free makeup, a must when you're wearing all white.