12 Ways to Keep Your Love Alive

1. Praise is such a great gift, and it's so easy to give. So look at the things that make your spouse and others unique and develop the habit of praising them for those special things.

2. Every painful trial is like an oyster, and there is a precious pearl—a personal benefit—in every one; every single one.

3. Don't go it alone. Welcome fresh insights of other perspectives—from extended family, friends, good marriage books, or a qualified marriage counselor.

4. In a mutually satisfying relationship, both people's needs are expressed, and they have the flexibility to give and take.

5. Honor goes hand in glove with love, a verb whose very definition is doing worthwhile things for someone who is valuable to us.

6. All our trials, great and small, can bring more of the two best things in life: love for life and love for others.

7. Oneness does not mean that one mate dominates the other or that the stronger controls the weaker.

8. Anger is our choice. We can choose to see its powerful potential for destruction and take steps to reduce it within us. Otherwise, it's and iceberg sinking our love.

9. Better understanding of the motivations and actions that grow out of our basic personalities can help us achieve personal and marital satisfaction.

10. Sharing deep feelings with each other is emotional intercourse, and it's vital to sexual satisfaction.

11. As we reach out to another, our own needs for fulfillment and love are met.

12. Give seven or more praises for every one fault-finding suggestion.

10 Ways to Find True Love

The First Secret: Have a mind that is open to everything and attached to nothing. 
It’s easy to become disillusioned and closed minded each time a relationship doesn’t work out, when you feel like you’ve been dating forever and how you’re conditioned to believe what love is (based on your experience of love when you were a child). When you’re closed-minded to your partner, you are more attached to your position instead of having a closer connection with your partner.
Resist being closed off and thinking negative thoughts. Keep an open mind and focus on the positives and possibilities without being attached to expectations, preconceived notions of how your partner should be. Get crystal clear on what you want and how you want to feel in a relationship. Then take the behaviors and actions to have what you want without controlling or being attached to the outcome. When you are crystal clear and behave and act accordingly, the outcome that you’re supposed to have will fall into place the way it’s supposed to.
The Second Secret: Don’t die with your music still in you.
If you tend to settle for less than you deserve in a relationship, you’ll leave this earth with regret and sorrow. Your desire for a loving and fulfilling relationship will not be met. In order to experience your ideal relationship, settle for more. Instead of staying in a ho-hum relationship, letting someone choose you or getting off track with the wrong men, create the love life you desire. You are more powerful than you think you are.
The Third Secret: You can’t give away what you don’t have.
If you don’t love yourself, you can’t love someone else. When you don’t love yourself, you’ll be judgmental and critical about the qualities that you wish you didn’t have. You’ll then reflect this outward onto your partner and become judgmental and critical towards him. Don’t expect him to be loving towards you if you’re not loving yourself and him. Work on loving yourself first, including your self-perceived bad sides.
If you aren’t able to openly express yourself, yet want a man who shares his feelings with you, you’ll attract men who have a difficult time communicating. Your opportunity is to improve your communication skills so that you’ll attract someone who can express himself freely.
The Fourth Secret: Embrace silence.
The tendency is to over-analyze every little thing and replay the details of what he said, why he said it, what went wrong, etc., makes it impossible to embrace silence. Instead your logic-based mind taking over and asking your friends and family what you should do, just be. Relax your mind to open up the space for silence, allowing you to listen to your intuition. Practicing meditation is one way to connect with silence.
The Fifth Secret: Give up your personal history.
Holding onto negative experiences from past relationships keeps you stuck. When you hold on to the past, you’re only hurting yourself while the other person has moved/is moving on with his life. Give yourself a fresh start. Let go of what’s happened by resolving resentments, making peace with the past and working through unhealthy relationship patterns.
Identify the patterns that have continued to show up in all of your relationships. For instance, if all of the men that you’ve been with have treated you poorly, look inward. Reflect on what’s within you that’s caused you to attract these types of men. If you find that low self esteem is the reason, work on improving your self worth.
The Sixth Secret: You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it.
Your mind is very powerful. The same problems that repeat themselves in different relationships stem from limiting thoughts and beliefs. When you believe the habitual negative thoughts that run on autopilot, you can’t solve the same problems that keep coming up in different relationships. Your thoughts determine your feelings, which then determine your behaviors and actions. Negative thoughts lead to not feeling good about yourself. When you behave and take action from feeling bad about yourself, you won’t get good results.
In order to solve relationship problems, you need to adopt a different mindset by questioning the negative thought(s) and replacing them with positive ones that are as or more true. For instance, if you believe there are no good men out there, you’ll continue attracting men who are not good for you. When you question this thought and see otherwise, you’ll open up the possibility to attract a good man.

 

The Seventh Secret: There are no justified resentments.
It’s really not personal. We are all doing the best we can based on where we’re at consciously. Whatever you perceive someone doing to you is really about him and less about you. When you’re upset, angry or resentful towards your partner for how he’s behaving or what he’s doing, you’re making this mean something about you.
For instance, my husband hates having his picture taken, so much so that he will make odd faces to the camera. I value pictures a great deal; they have sentimental meaning to me. We were vacationing in Lake Tahoe and I really wanted to have a nice picture taken of us at a specific location. We weren’t able to and I was quiet for the next 45 minutes. I found myself becoming a bit upset towards him and some old habitual thoughts popped into my head, “If he really loved me, he would take pictures with me.” After I had my own pity party, I was able to see the perspective that he just doesn’t like taking pictures, which has more to do with him than it does me.
The Eighth Secret: Treat yourself as if you already are what you’d like to be.
If you’re single or dating and want to be in a loving relationship, act as if you’re already in a loving relationship. Focus your thoughts, visualize and feel as if this is already your reality. The more you see yourself in a loving relationship, the more inspired you are, which sets the momentum in your favor. The universe will then conspire to bring you what you believe to be your reality.
In your relationship with your partner, act as if what you would like to have is already here. If you want loving interactions, clearly visualize this and expect loving interactions to take place.
The Ninth Secret: Treasure your divinity.
You are perfect the way you are. There’s nothing wrong with you. Instead of trying to be a carbon copy of someone else, be your unique self. Be authentic and let men see your self-perceived quirks. The right man will find them endearing. It’s better to be loved for who you are than to be loved for who you aren’t.
In addition, we are all connected. If you feel disconnected from your partner, your ego is getting in the way of your ability to connect to yourself. Drop your ego to experience the connection to self and you’ll feel connected to everyone around you, including your partner.
The Tenth Secret: Wisdom is avoiding all thoughts that weaken you.
You grew up with a certain belief system; the way you think is based on your role models (most likely your parents) and experiences as a young child. Because you’re so used to thinking a certain way, you probably don’t question your unhealthy thoughts. The more you identify with them and believe that they’re true, the more they become who you are. These unhealthy thoughts keep you from seeing other perspectives and possibilities.
Instead of letting unhealthy thoughts debilitate you, identify the ones that have negatively affected your love life. Notice what’s happened in your relationships when you’ve believed those thoughts. Work on replacing those thoughts by doing The Work from Byron Katie.
The Ideal Approach
In a romantic relationship, love the person enough by allowing him to be exactly who he is and what he chooses to be, without expecting anything and being attached to an outcome. If you can do this, you’ll find lasting love and inner peace. True love is about loving a person for who they are, not for what you think they should be.  Which secrets will you practice in your love life?
If you’re frustrated and tired about not being successful in love, get your free Monthly Guide to Love. You’ll receive insightful articles, inspirational resources and best practices that support your journey to love.

 

Marriage Advice for newly Weds

1. If your goal is to have a satisfying marriage with longevity, make sure you are accountable for the part you play in the relationship—good or bad. When you are in denial about your part in the relationship then you are no better than a child flinging sand at another child in a sandbox. When you take responsibility for your part in the marriage, only then will you be able to connect with your partner in a mature, intimate way.

2. Research consistently shows that touching more creates a stronger bond by releasing oxytocin. Hold hands, rub shoulders, hug, kiss, give high-fives or even fist-bumps or bottom pats. When you give a quick hug or kiss, try to lengthen it to at least 5 or 10 seconds for more effective results!
3. Learn how to agree to disagree. No two people agree on everything, and that's okay, but it's important to be okay with each other's differences.
4. Sometimes it's not about the amount of money you spend on a gift, it's about the thought that goes into something. Take the time to write a thoughtful note every so often saying what you love and appreciate about him/her. Drop it in his/her briefcase or purse so he/she will find it unexpectedly and it will brighten up his/her day.
5. For men, it's important to understand that women want to be listened to. Men don't need to solve or fix everything; listening itself is an exceptional gift. For women, it's important to understand that men need time for themselves. By giving him space to pull away and not taking it personally, you allow him to reconnect with his desire for you and his commitment to the relationship.

6. The biggest waste of effort in a marriage is trying to change your spouse, since the problems you have with your spouse are generally problems you have in yourself. When you try to change your spouse you come across as a nag and wind up sending the message that 'who you are is not enough.' Nobody likes getting that message, and it leads to distance and polarization. Let your spouse be who he or she is and focus on changing yourself.

7. See problems—boredom in the bedroom, lack of conversations, resentment—as symptoms and treat those symptoms just as you would treat a chronic illness that seemingly has no cure. Throw at it every possible remedy you've got, no matter how alternative or weird it seems. Chances are one or more of them will actually work and your marriage will get stronger and stronger.
8. Next time you argue with your partner, drop the shaming, blaming, needing to be right, and really listen without interrupting. Then communicate how you feel, using "I" statements. It's not your partner's job to read your mind, guess what you're thinking, or put words into your mouth. These are huge obstacles to open, honest communication and will guarantee resentment, anger, and frustration in the relationship.
9. In order to strengthen your marriage, learn to recognize that most arguments have shared responsibility, that both people have valid points and valid reasons for their feelings.- Kathy Morelli, LPC
10. Fair is not a four letter word. You may have forgotten about fairness, but now's the time to bring it back into your relationship. Are you both being fair when it comes to divvying up chores, communicating your needs, expressing dissatisfaction, dealing with finances, parenting, and supporting one another? If not, how can you improve and bring fairness back to the relationship?

 

Make Up Tips for Your Wedding Day

 

Consider Climate Before Applying Makeup

For brides getting married in warmer climates, consider using as many oil-free products as possible — primer, moisturizer, foundation, etc. — and keeping oil-free blotting sheets on hand.

Play Up Your Makeup for Photos

"The camera will blow you out in photos. Put on a little more makeup than you would apply normally, more than you think you need, since the camera and lights will tone down your makeup."

If you're doing your own makeup: Practice and take pictures before the big day. Start with less, because it's easier to add more if you need it than having to remove excess makeup, which can get messy.

Use a Primer

"you want to make sure you cleanse and really moisturize the skin before you start applying your makeup. Then, after you moisturize and before you put on your foundation, there's a really important step — primer. It'll make your makeup go on smoother and last a lot longer. You're going to have a long day ahead of you, and you want your makeup to last you all day and all night."

Always Apply Your Foundation with a Sponge or Brush

Certain foundations work better with a sponge or brush, but definitely use either one or the other — never your fingers. The less you can touch your face, the better. (Bacteria, dirt, etc., can be left behind.) Your fingers can also leave behind fingerprints, so the look isn't as smooth and finished-looking. If you use a sponge, apply foundation by stippling the sponge, not swiping it across the skin. This gives your foundation a more natural look, and blends it more evenly into the skin.

Put on Concealer After Your Foundation

Your moisturizer, primer, and foundation are already going to even out skin and cover imperfections, so doing it before your foundation could leave you looking cakey with too much product. She also notes that it's important to use a different kind of concealer for your eyes than for your face. It should be something very creamy and emollient — not necessarily oil-free, like you'll use on your face — so it doesn't get dry and cakey throughout the day, You also want to use something peach-based so it contrasts the blue and purple tones of your eyelid.

Use Different Concealers

Your concealer choice depends on what you're covering. If it's a blemish, red spot, or broken capillaries, use an oil-free, pigmented, thicker concealer with hints of yellow, For under your eyes, you want to use something with a little more peach in it to cover and contrast the blues and purples. It should be something emollient and creamy because there are no oil glands there. Sometimes you'll see women with dry, cakey concealer under eyes; their concealer is either oil-free or they have too much on. Make sure to use a brush to apply your concealer so you can really pinpoint the spot. Press gently and melt it into skin. Start thin — you can always add more.

Primer for Eye Shadow

Using an eye shadow primer ensures smudge-free makeup, a must when you're wearing all white.

Types of Wedding Dresses for Different Body Frames

There are various kinds of wedding dresses, and picking the right wedding dress is really essential as your choice can make or mar your figure. It's all in proper selection, so you don't end up looking like a ball of onions on your special day. First off, every bride should know her body type, it's highly essential…you should know where you want to highlight and hide equally. Just like a drawing, every little detail matters, and you want to be the most comfortable on your big day don't you? Now there are different aspects to a wedding dress, the SILHOUETTE, NECKLINE, SLEEVES, BODICE, LENGTH, TRAIN and VEIL. So for starters we'll talk about the "silhouette"! 

SILHOUETTE 

Firstly you'll ask what a ‘silhouette’ is. This is in simple terms ' a drawing consisting of the outline of something'. So in wedding dresses the silhouette is the outlined frame of the dress. Now that is established there are various silhouettes. We have A-LINE, BALL GOWN, MERMAID, EMPIRE and SHEATH. These are the major types. There are also others like TRUMPET, MINI and TEA-LENGTH.

A-LINE

Just like the letter ‘A’, an a-lined gown flows from top to bottom gradually. There are no cuts in between and no marked waistline. It flows from the shoulder down to the floor gracefully. This gown is the best for people trying to hide their weight in the middle section of their body.  

 

BALL GOWN 

This is just typically the 'Cinderella' inspired gown. It is a very fairy tale inspired look and very formal too. It’s good for most body frames. Although For most people who are trying to hide big thighs and hips as well as those with the pear figure this is the best option for them as it hides the lower body.  Also for the 'one carrot a day' figure (skinny) this will not be the best dress as you might look overwhelming in it.

 

 

MERMAID

This is a very sexy silhouette. As the name implies, is if very fitting from the shoulder down before it begins to flow around the knee. It's is safe and a good choice for those who are very confident on their body frames, have hour glass figures and slender frames. It is not ideal for big framed people or those with the apple figure. 

 

 

EMPIRE

This is the silhouette with a high waist line about right under the bust, with the flowing from there falling on the hips down to the ground. It is a very subtle and romantic look, great for most body frames as well but particularly good for those with small bust. 

 

SHEATH

This is that silhouette that is rather straight. It is a petit frame that flows straight down along the body lines to the floor. It is best for slim brides or brides with a flattering figure. Also it tends to elongate your frame so it could work for short brides but it doesn't have room for body flaws so its not advisable for a pear figured or plus sized bride. 

 

Having said these, it should go a long way in helping you find the right silhouette for your body frame. I'll give you time to process. Get ready for Vol.2 of types of wedding dresses to fit your body frame. 

 

 

Ofunneka A

 

 

 

Going Bespoke

 

You might want to consider the bespoke way for your suit and that of your Grooms Men. Now What exactly is a Bespoke Suit? What goes into it? Well, here is the Oxford dictionary definition of Bespoke:

bespoke

Syllabification: (be·spoke)

Pronunciation: /biˈspōk/

Definition of bespoke

·                                

past of bespeak.

adjective

[attributive] chiefly British

·                                 (of goods, especially clothing) made to order:a bespoke suit

·                                 (of a trader) creating made-to-order goods:bespoke tailors

It is a fairly broad term and in the strictest sense is the English equivalent to what would be called a custom suit in the U.S.A.

 

Its also a rather trendy word now that tailors in the U.S, Italy, U.K and even Nigeria like to use more and more. Starting from the Savile Row tailors it has caught on globally with a lot of people picking the Bespoke option over the ready made designer suits.  Nowadays, strictly speaking, any kind of “custom” or “made to measure suit”, made in a factory from stock patterns with little handwork could be described as a Bespoke suit and it often is.

With Bespoke Suits, you can achieve high standards and highly custom specifications that you might not get on the rack of your designer shop.

Some top Bespoke Tailors in Nigeria are Taryor Gabriels, Okunoren Twins, Akehinde Michael, and Hunt Couture among others.

Rivini Bridal Collection 2014

 Here are beautiful wedding Dresses by Rivini in his 2014 Bridal Collection...